The Three Wise Men
Do you know what would have happened if it had been Three
Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions,
arrived on time
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole, and,
brought practical gifts.
Pass it on to the wise women in your life!!
But here is what REALLY would have happened:
They would have first gone to the beauty salon,
had a wash, set, and manicure,
then home to pick out a proper outfit.
Then they would have changed the outfit 5 times,
called everybody they knew to talk about the trip,
and arrived late -- VERY LATE!
Actually, they probably wouldn't have arrived at all --
halfway to the oasis, the camel would have broken down
because no one remembered to check his water level!
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.
"But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius -- the Pilot!"
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
Jesus' Report Card
Interim Report
Student: J. CHRIST Form: III Term: 1
SUBJECT GRADE TEACHERS COMMENT
_____________ _____ ____________________
Religion D To the question
"Who made the world?"
persisted in
answering 'My dad'.
Claims Bible
originated from the
same source.
English D+ Tends to speak and
write in archaic
forms and uses
outmoded figures
of speech.
History A Excellent pupil of
ancient and
Religious History.
Geography C- Assignment on 'Hot,
dry lands' was
excellent, but shows
little interest in
the rest. In
geology, keeps
talking about the
Rock of Ages instead
of the ages of Rock.
Social Studies B+ Shows keen interest
in social issues.
Mathematics F Lacks basics. Keeps
muttering about
'Three in one' and
'I and the father
are one'.
General D Lacks discipline -
Studies e.g., when asked to
repeat the
experiment for
making hydrogen,
claims he knew a
better way.
Graphic D Prefers to draw with
Communications a stick in the sand
to pencil and paper.
Consumer C+ Interesting ideas
Education about alternative
life style:
Something about
living like sparrows
and lilies of the
fields...too
impractical.
Art Craft B Obviously has
imagination and
creativity, a good
potter - likes
working with dirt
and water.
Material A Excellent in
Studies woodwork section.
Obviously receives
help and stimulation
at home.
Music/ B+ A keen member of the
Drama school choir. On
occasions can be
frighteningly
dramatic.
Community A Keen and interested
Living in all aspects of
community.
Physical D- A trouble maker -
Education e.g., during the
learn-to-swim
campaign insisted
on trying to walk
across the pool.
Health A Shows a remarkable
Classes aptitude for first
aid and knowledge
of the body.
TEACHER'S COMMENT: This boy has a very
unhealthy tendency to form gangs. He has
organized twelve of his friends into a
gang and is seen constantly in the company
of the children of publicans and sinners.
He needs to be more selective in his
choice of friends. Also, he should learn
to keep his hair at a tidy length and not
wear sandals with the school uniform.