Answer to Travels of Mr. P
A Puzzle by David Pleacher
I live in No Name, Colorado because I am not a name dropper. I wanted to take a trip but I wasn't sure where to go, so I traveled to Uncertain, Texas.
I'm a math guy so my first stop was at America's first Dot-com city in Half.com, Oregon. Then I continued on to Ninety Six, South Carolina.
These math towns gave me an urge to appear on a game show, so I took off for Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. But I crashed my car in Accident, Maryland.
Nothing was hurt except for my size 12 shoes, so I headed to Bigfoot, Texas. I decided I needed a new pair of shoes, so I took off for Loafer's Glory, North Carolina.
I was getting hungry so I had breakfast in Two Egg, Florida, Hot Coffee, Mississippi, and Bacon, Indiana.
Lunch was in Sandwich, Massachusetts and Tea, South Dakota.
Dinner was in Tortilla Flat, Arizona, followed by dessert in Pie Town, New Mexico.
There is nothing too unusual about me so I went to Ordinary, Kentucky.
In fact, some people say that I am dull or unimaginative so I then went to Boring, Oregon after that.
Things were just OK so I decided to go to Okay, Oklahoma. I began to question my journey so I went to Why, Arizona.
It was getting near December 25, so I went to Christmas, Florida. But I wanted to see Santa so I headed to North Pole, Alaska and then on to Santa Claus, Indiana.
I was missing my wife's kisses so I went to Sweet Lips, Tennessee and then on to Loveland, Colorado. But then I came to my senses in Brilliant, Ohio - I didn't need to travel all over the country.
I don't need Bountiful, Utah, or Carefree, Arizona, or Beauty, Kentucky or Friendly, West Virginia or Ideal, Georgia or Smileyberg, Kansas or Success, Missouri or What Cheer, Iowa or Fame, West Virginia.
I just needed to follow my heart, sing John Prine's song, and head to Paradise, Kentucky.